Why do Saas – Bahu Serials tell on your Patience???

After every semester I come back home, only to be amazed by the newer soap operas. There will be some older ones for sure, which will woefully continue for years despite showing three or four generations and yet showing one character which will always be alive like Bheeshm Pitamah. But I can never know what happened to the others. Did they go to conclusion? Or they went to oblivion because of low TRP’s?

In each and every serial, there will be one character which will be constantly plotting, scheming, causing fights and yet would be getting away without anybody noticing. In most cases, the most noticeable feature of this character (which almost always is a Vamp) is that she is heavily decked with jewels, is having the most modern and sophisticated tastes and hails from some very affluent family in the town. She will smile slyly in front of everybody but nobody takes notice of it. Though there will be random people telling bad things on her face, but it only ends up increasing her resolve to do mischievous stuff.

Then there will be one character (again, a feminine character) who is totally opposite. It seems someone has stuffed Fevicol in her mouth and kept the tap in her eyes running. Although she knows that the Vamp is shamelessly conspiring against her, she suffers everything silently, hears every abuse hurled towards her with utmost patience and then when everything finishes up, goes to the temple to bother the hapless idol with her plight. Not surprisingly, the idol is as dumb as she is.

But everything cannot be imposed upon the Vamp. That would be unjust. The sufferer is designed in such a way that the character sucks big time and after some episodes, begins to tell on your nerves. After carefully seeing a sample soap opera, I can well imagine one scene with which I can even dream of starting a serial. Here goes the scene:

Husband – Darling, aaj TV pe cricket match kyon nahi hai?

Wife – (Says nothing, just starts weeping, and her eyes immediately turn red)

Husband – Kya hua? Kuchh bolte kyon nahi?

Wife – (Still says nothing, keeps weeping silently in front of him. Meanwhile some random music starts in the background. Mostly it is “Dhoom ta na na na na na” or “Tere na tere na tere na” sort.)

Husband – Are kuchh batao to sahi?

Wife – (Still silent and weeping)

(Now the camera starts turning from the husband to the wife, then from the wife to the husband and so on. With each turn of the camera, there is also a background noise of a heavy THUD. This happens for at least 4 times. The sequence may vary)

Husband – Agar nahi bataya to mai tumhe chhor ke chala jaunga…

Wife – (Still weeping, but moves her head from Left to Right, as if trying to say “NO!!! Please”)

(Again the camera starts turning. Meanwhile, the “Dhoom ta na na na” turns violently loud along with the THUD)

Husband, totally frustrated and heavily pissed off, leaves the room with a huff.

Now since there is only the wife in the room, the camera can show only a single person. Here, the INGENUITY of the cameraman comes into play. Now the camera turns towards the wife, but from different directions. First, from TOP to the wife’s face. Then, from BOTTOM to the wife’s face. Then, from LEFT and at last, from RIGHT. Then there would be a sudden change in the intensity of the lights, the facial expression of the wife changes curiously to show a hotch-potch of fear, sadness, amazement and all other negative emotions.

Now comes the ultimate part. Suddenly appearing is a small temple of either “Mata Rani”, or “Lord Krishna” or my favourite, “Ganpati Bappa”. There follows a long dialogue where again our protagonist does not complain, but just asks for strength to bear everything in silence. As if some strength is still left in God after punishing 6 billion humans and all other beings (the exact number is unimaginable for me) on earth for being sinful.

What I can’t imagine is that why, in each and every serial, there is a housewife whose mouth is shut by some unknown force, why her husband is the biggest asshole on earth, why the vamp always goes unnoticed so lamely when there are so many other ways, as shown by our beloved politicians, in which she can go unnoticed and why, this being the biggest question of all, do people continue watching those serials every day in spite of the fact that they themselves get so frustrated with them after suffering one full day doing household jobs or office work. And why are there so many advertisements in between? Can’t there be a way in which the protagonist at least talks in front of everybody, and talks reason?
-Sarkar